We all know what happens when you "assume", don't we?

Apparently not.  I'm learning that more often than not, familiarity with ski vocabulary outside of my ski resort home is not a given.  One of my recent professional writing projects (read: paid, but not enough to buy me new ski boots) involved some advice I was to offer regarding functional mountain wear.  At some point I discussed neck warmers and used the "Turtle Fur" brand as an example.  My editor was very happy with the article (read: enjoyed it, but not enough to offer more money), however the staff of the L.A. based publication was concerned:  what about their globally conscious readers who eschew animal cruelty and won't wear fur?  Describing as delicately as possible the fact that most turtles don't actually have fur and the name is just a fun moniker, I recalled other times when I've confused and surprised ski school students with terms that sounded different than what they actually referred to:  like the time I assured my new skier charge that she would love the next ski run, because the snow cats had just groomed it.  She was terrified, picturing large white leopards sunning themselves after a cat-bath.  It didn't help that I was not proficient in her native language, and probably only confused her more with my shaky translations.

I have to give my ski school students a lot of credit for translating my ski-nglish, to everyday American english over the course of the lesson.  Somehow they manage to (usually, hopefully) succeed in learning and enjoying their ski days while figuring out what I meant by "duck walk up" and "had a yard sale" and "ski(er) tip" (read: cash). 

Even beyond the vernacular are the other assumptions we make.  As campground hosts this summer, far away from any ski resort, many of the visitors enjoyed asking us about our winter lives.  My six year old son hasn't spent much time away from a ski town, and he had no idea why someone would ask him if he knew how to ski.  Just like breathing, he didn't know that some people had a choice in the matter. 

Just goes to show you what happens when you assume...(read:  to make an "ass out of ‘u' and me"!).